"We Already Have Everything We Need..."

Today I would like to share this text by Pema Chödrön with you. It really moved me because all my life I have been trying to improve myself in some way (and when you read this blog you know I still do).

First I thought it was because I wanted people to accept me for who I am but now I realize that I was still trying to accept myself. Deep down inside there was always a negative feeling about myself.

But since I became a mother I started to feel more love for myself. I discovered that I'm able to love unconditional and that love has opened me, and it was there all along.

“We already have everything we need.
There is no need for self-improvement.

All these trips that we lay on ourselves —the heavy-duty fearing that we’re bad and hoping that we’re good, the identities that we so dearly cling to, the rage, the jealousy and the addictions of all kinds— never touch our basic wealth.

They are like clouds that temporarily block the sun.

But all the time our warmth and brilliance are right here.
This is who we really are.

We are one blink of an eye away from being fully awake.”

~ Pema Chödrön

Thank you for being here today, take care, xxx!

Smile

Let us always meet each other with smile,

for the smile is the beginning of love.

~ Mother Teresa

Walking with my toddler feels like walking with a mini Zen-master. Recently he has changed his dark investigative look into a radiant one. And now everybody that passes is treated on a smile followed by a 'Hyee'. The purity of a child that greets everybody with an open mind, without any ulterior motive or judgement, works purifying.

I realize that sometimes my own smile is far from pure. Too often I catch myself with a polite smile, that the longer it persists, becomes a kind of contorted grimace. Or I'm struggling with all kinds of ego related thoughts buzzing in my head that distract me.

But this little boy is showing me what a true smile achieves. I witness how even the grumpiest people in my neighborhood melt and carefully show their own smile. And I realize how powerful a simple smile truly is. How an unconditional smile is it's own reward......Hyee!

Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile,

but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy.

~ Thich Nhat Hanh

Buddhism for Mothers

Do not dwell in the past,

do not dream of the future,

concentrate the mind on the present moment.

~ Buddha

Inspired by the wonderful book "Buddhism for Mothers" by Sarah Napthali I recently refreshed my interest in the Buddhist approach of life. My interest was somewhat weakened over the past year since I was overwhelmed by motherhood. But now that I am somewhat back to my senses (as far as possible with all my lack of sleep), it is time to work on myself again.

I have noticed that 15 months after giving birth, I still have my mood swings and no one believes that it is still the pregnancy hormones hihi. So I must face the fact that becoming a mother puts things in another perspective. Under a magnifying glass to be precise. Supposedly small bad habits are magnified to huge stumbling blocks in conscious parenting. Motherhood is the ultimate challenge with above all an unconditional love and at the same time severe uncertainties. So let's start...

The first step was to read this book by Sarah Napthali. So far so good. Now step two; daily practice of keeping my thoughts positive and focused on the present moment.

I am a daydreamer and my thoughts are always either in the past or the future, but almost never and certainly not for long in the present moment. Only when I take my photos and while writing my blog I am fully present in the Now. Well today I will try to expand those moments.

~

The Tides

Such a beautiful day, filled with sun and rain.
During a long walk with my boy and my man I suddenly feel overwhelmed with happiness and suddenly also fear.
Too much love for one woman, so much to loose....but I know fear is a bad counselor.

I remember what my own Mama always tells me; 'Life is just like the tides of the sea, after joy comes sorrow and after sorrow happiness and so on.
So instead of trying to hold on to happiness, absorb happiness like a sponge, enjoy every happy minute and allow yourself to feel it through and through.
This way you will always have light when life throws a shadow on you.'

So I take a deep breath and allow myself to enjoy and absorb all that happiness.
It chases away the fear.

And finally there is silence inside me for a while...

Flow

I know I will have to let him try,
this beautiful, strong and brave baby boy,
he is ready.
I know.... and I will.

After one year he knows our save and warm little house inside out and he is ready for new places and new faces to discover.

Silently I watch him while he gathers leaves and plucks the last Oxalis flowers. Everything has to be tasted and gets gently crushed. Oh motherhood...it is all about letting go... I know.....I will....

While he crawls around I take my photographs in silence, my meditation...both of us in our own sacred worlds. Life is wonderful... when I just let it flow.... I know...I will...